This article was machine-translated from the Korean original. Read the Korean original
01Prologue: The Two Eternal Obsessions of South Korean Men
If you listen closely to the topics of conversation at gatherings of ordinary South Korean men in their 40s and 50s, the destination eventually converges on exactly two things, as if by prior agreement: 'golf driving distance' and 'male stamina (sexual function).'
A man who hits his driver 20 meters further than his playing partners during a weekend round feels a sense of pride on his shoulders that shines brighter than any medal in the world. Conversely, the sight of a man who has been relegated to the status of a "short hitter" and must hit his second shot first is incredibly lonely.
The interesting thing is that this obsession with driving distance bears a striking resemblance to the obsession with stamina, which serves as a matter of pride in the bedroom. For middle-aged men, driver distance is not merely a technical metric for lowering their golf scores. It is interpreted as an "instinctive indicator" proving their physical youth, masculinity, and that they are still biologically sound. Consequently, a single remark from a caddy stating that their driving distance has decreased inflicts deep internal trauma, as if they have received a diagnosis of declining stamina.
The story I will cover today is a secret topic that most mainstream sports media and medical journals have never addressed directly due to embarrassment, yet which is discussed nightly with great passion at after-parties in Korean screen golf rooms and clubhouses. It is a bold examination of the peculiar superstitions hidden between the secret stamina management of successful middle-aged men and their golf swing distances.
02The red pill hidden in the golf bag and the secret to driving distance
As an editor who has played golf for a long time, I often witness an interesting sight whenever the pouch bags of middle-aged business owners are opened in the locker room or clubhouse before or after a round. There are items peeking out stealthily between high-end sheepskin gloves and rangefinders. These are erectile dysfunction medications, typified by Viagra and Cialis, or various male potency supplements purchased directly from overseas.
At first, I thought it was just a nighttime essential for the '19th hole' (after-party and nightlife) after the round. However, one day, I was puzzled to see a senior single-digit handicap golfer who runs an asset management firm in Gangnam swallow a pill perfectly fine 30 minutes before tee-off, so I asked, "Brother, are you taking that already?" The answer I received was clear-cut.
Hey, you really don't know what you're talking about. If you take this and hit, your driver head speed changes for the front nine holes. I'm telling you, the blood flow is different.CEO of a Gangnam asset management firm, single golfer
It is difficult to simply dismiss this as a pretentious folk remedy used by middle-aged men, as there is some plausible logic to it. The core mechanism of erectile dysfunction medications is to dilate blood vessels to increase blood flow to specific areas, and the belief that this dilation effect spreads to the entire body to some extent is the background behind the spread of this idea.
A golf swing is a powerful "short-circuit movement" that rotates the core using the ground reaction force of the lower body in a split second. Perhaps for this reason, among some middle-aged golfers who are obsessed with driving distance, there is a quietly spreading belief that this pill is a "magical elixir of distance"—however, this is merely a folklore circulating on the course and has not been medically verified. It is as if a drug developed to erect a bedroom is being treated on the course like a talisman to make the driver head stand upright.
03The single hormone that rules golf and the bedroom: Testosterone
The most definitive biological link connecting driving distance and stamina is the male hormone, testosterone.
According to medical experts, starting in their late 30s, men's testosterone levels decline noticeably every year. The typical symptoms that appear when this hormone decreases are reduced muscle mass, increased visceral fat, and decreased sexual vitality. From a golf perspective, this leads to a loss of lower body muscle mass, which lowers swing speed and reduces driving distance; from a bedroom perspective, it simultaneously results in a phenomenon where one literally becomes afraid of the night.
This is precisely why successful middle-aged men go to such lengths to maintain their testosterone levels—visiting gyms, eating expensive eels, and taking hormone injections. The hormone levels they manage manifest as visual results first and foremost on the field.
Men with well-developed lower body and gluteal muscles can strongly rotate their pelvis during the swing, which transfers tremendous energy directly to the ball to generate overwhelming distance. Furthermore, the long-standing adage in the golf world that "golfers with strong hips and thighs are strong in the night" is connected to this hormone discussion. This is due to the belief that the greater the lower body muscle mass, the more active testosterone metabolism becomes; while a precise causal relationship has not been medically established, it is hard to deny that golfers who take good care of their bodies gain confidence both on the course and in the bedroom.
04The Ecosystem of Screen Golf Rooms and 19+ Seduction
"Screen golf rooms," a unique form of golf infrastructure found only in Korea, are spaces where the dynamics of driving distance and stamina are consumed in the most blatant and clandestine manner. Unlike wide-open outdoor fairways, these dark, isolated rooms with enclosed sides, plush sofas, and delivered alcohol and snacks become, in themselves, peculiar social venues and extensions of entertainment.
In some screen golf rooms, bizarre betting games take place every weekend night. Childish but pointed jokes are exchanged, such as, "The guy with the shortest driving distance today treats us to a hostess bar next week," or "If the ball doesn't go far on this hole, it proves your stamina has declined."
The even more bitter reality is when screen golf is used as a means of clandestine push-and-pull and flirting between men and women. This refers to the so-called 'screen entertainment' culture, where drinking parties are held in screen rooms on weekend nights accompanied by hostesses or entertainment industry workers.
Men are desperate to show off their masculinity and wealth simultaneously to the women sitting next to them through the "ball speed of 70 m/s" displayed on the screen. Middle-aged businessmen throw open their wallets at the exaggerated exclamations from women that burst forth every time they hit a driver: "Oh my, boss, why are you so strong? You're a monster!" It is a scene where the battle for driving distance on the golf course transforms into the most primal hormone battle to appeal to sexual attractiveness, as it enters the enclosed space of a screen room.
05Editor's Note: To the men addicted to the illusory numbers
The changing of the body as one ages is an irresistible law of nature. The excessive desire to hit 250-meter drives every time with a middle-aged body that has lost the elasticity of one's 20s only leads to severe slices and out-of-bounds shots on the course, and leaves only a sense of defeat caused by impatience in the bedroom.
True masters of the game—that is, 'single-digit handicap golfers'—do not stake their lives solely on driving distance. They complete their scores with precise iron shots, smooth wedge shots around the green, and unwavering putting.
Isn't the same true for the secret world of adults? Perhaps the real key to determining the dignity of the bedroom lies not in reckless long drives driven solely by brute force, but in a sophisticated short game that shows consideration for the opponent and good manners. Watching the pathetic flapping of wings of middle-aged men swinging drivers with their wrists and shoulders tensed, declaring, "I am not dead yet," screen golf rooms across the country are once again stained red with hormones of arrogance and desire tonight.
This concludes the spicy gossip column in the [EDITOR'S CHOICE] section. In the next issue, we return with a story delving into the reality of the distorted golf matching systems that emerged alongside the development of join applications. We wish our readers a dignified night round of golf.
